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45 Lessons I’ve Learned in Business and Life

Today’s my 45th birthday, and this is what 45 looks like on me. Even though I’m old enough to have a 20 yr old, by choice, I waited to get pregnant and have almost a 3yr old.

Life’s about choices, which is what makes it even more interesting. Click to tweet…

When I thought about what I’ll do for my birthday it came to me in a flash to do a blog post about 45 things I’ve learned this year. I could have done 45 business lessons, but that didn’t feel right because there are a ton of lessons that I got this year that are not related to business.

So, I’m breaking it down into 20 business lessons, 10 spiritual lessons, 10 parenting lessons, and 5 things I’ve learned about myself this year.

Enjoy and see what resonates with you and what doesn’t, and if you’re up for the challenge, you can create a list of your own.  

20 Business lessons I’ve learned this year…

1. Disenchantment is part of the art of business

This is a funny lesson to start with, and it’s also the biggest one I had to experience this year. There will be moments when you’re not into what you’re doing, or have lost the fire for it. Some call this passion. For me it’s not about the work, it’s about the art of business.

The art of business was the thing that excited me, and last year when I felt off, I realized I was in a disenchantment phase. It was the moment I knew I had to hire a coach to help me focus and get back in the art of it. If you ever feel off, ask yourself if you’re feeling disenchanted, then you can call it out and see what you need to help you move forward.

2. Trust yourself

There’s not much more to add to that. It’s imperative to trust yourself and not beat yourself up, for obvious reasons. Trusting yourself is loving yourself. Click to tweet..

3. Hindsight is 20/20

I know this is a lesson we’ve all heard about, and when it happens, it can be painful — or it can be freeing. This year I learned that I could have given less energy into my business to get more return. This in itself is a lesson. So when you look back and see the dots connecting, instead of beating yourself up, take the lesson and do something with it.

4. Beta testing still works

This connects with the first lesson. I teach to test out things you’re creating, ideas or offers, before you put it out into the world. For years I thought about doing a self-study program for my signature coach training program, and this year we put it out there to test. It was received well and we will see in the next 4-months how it worked. If you have an idea that you’re thinking about, test it first to find out if it will work.

5. Be open to feedback, even if it hurts

This lesson is a biggie. I had some feedback this year that hurt, but it was needed for me to grow. When I stay open to feedback I can have better awareness of what’s going on, as well as how I may be impacting others. The thing is, you must make sure those who are giving you feedback do so in a safe place — and not to let the feedback be the only thing you use to take your next steps.

6. Care deeply for those you serve

It’s easy to get out of touch when we work online. We can get stuck in numbers and not in hearts. This year I had to go deep into why I do what I do, and why I care about coaching and training coaches. This helped me to attract amazing clients who did great work, and reflected back to me that my work does matter in the world. Take the time to connect to why you care so you know you are creating and showing up in a way that radiates this. 

7. Be true to yourself

Always. No. Matter. What. Click to tweet

8. Invest and know it may take time to pay off

I know everyone talks about investing, and I do as well. The thing is that when you invest, you may not get the return right away. It may take 6 months to a year, or even more. You may be thinking, then why do it? Well, investing is not linear. I learned that it makes sense to invest in people who can help me in my business. Afterall, I’m in it for the long haul, not the sprint. If you are in business for the sprint, you may want to ask yourself what would help you to be in it for the long haul.

9. Go for good enough

Yes, perfection never goes away. It was 100% clear this year to go for good enough and retire having anything be perfect. If you’re stuck on this then remind yourself to go for good enough.

10. Treat everyone as part of your team

YES everyone! That includes Paypal or any other service provider in your business. You are not alone in this. This last year we made some big changes with opening up my shop (which is now closed since I took my hiatus), changing email providers, and even how we take payments.

When things get wonky with technology, it does not help to get mad — it helps to treat everyone as being part of your team so you can find the best solution together, and find it fast. This means when you’re starting out that you have a team, your web hosting, email providers, and even Paypal if you use it, are part of your team.

11. It’s a gift to have people believe in your work

This was huge for me this year. I meet weekly with my team and it’s part of what we do to keep the business growing. I also have some business BFF’s that are there for me when I need it.

This year I hired some amazing people to help me with the launch of my coach training program, The Art of Becoming a Coach, and the newly released TAOBC Studio (again these are not available since I decided to take a hiatus from my business), and I was in tears because of how much they cared and believed in what I was doing. It actually inspired me to believe in my work even more. It’s important to have those who believe in you and your work in your life – even when, or especially when, you’re starting out.

12. There are no guarantees

In life, in business, in parenting. Not much to add to this — it’s how it is and when we can accept it and own it, life is way easier. It can even become amusing.

13. Be willing to let go in the face of uncertainty

Letting go is part of life, I think we can all agree with that. This year I had to let go of more than I realized. The difficult part of letting go is that we are not sure what’s coming next.

This lesson comes with the hindsight is 20/20. I was not able to let go of doing my interview series Breakthrough to Coaching Experience. So this year was the last year we will be doing this and now it feels good having hindsight. 🙂 When you’re holding on tight to something, ask yourself if you’re holding on because you’re not able to see what else is possible?

14. Desperation kills creativity… kills everything

Being desperate disconnects you from your intuition, from abundance, and from being creative. It’s poison. I had a few moments of feeling desperate and had to let that go fast, without judgement.

There will be times this will come up I know it happened to me this year, and to those I know in business. It’s key to notice it and let it go so you can open up to your own information and see another way. Being desperate means you don’t see possibilities. If this happens to you, or you feel this way right now, don’t fret — take a moment to see all you have and then take steps from there.

15. Pay attention to what works

Because when you look at what does not work it only creates more of that. I did start to look back on what does not work, not to dwell, but to learn what to stop doing. What I found was when I took the time to look at what is working in my business it was easier to have more. Try it and see.

16. If you’re not having fun, stop

I had a few moments when things were not fun and I had to stop doing them. I also started doing some new things that worked (yes this is the next lesson). I thought it would be fun to do a podcast, so we did it, and I stopped blogging because it was not fun for me anymore.

I then tested out doing new moon and full moon rituals, and it was not only fun for me, it was fun for everyone else. Pay attention to when you’re having fun and when you’re not so you can detect what to let go of and what to do more. UPDATE: I started not having fun which is what I stopped my business as it is for now to discover what’s next for me. 

17. Set goals with intention

I used to have my goals, then I had projects, then I had tasks, and it was all over the place. I learned to change this to have my goals aligned with my projects and tasks so whatever we do, it’s moving in the same direction.

This saved time, energy, and money. It was a big game changer for myself and my team. Notice if you have an idea that is not in alignment with your goals so you can step back to see what needs to shift so everything is moving in the same direction.

18. Plan and be willing to throw it out

It’s hard to have a plan and then let it go. When you’re creating, in a launch, or even working with a client, you may think you need to hold on and hesitate when it’s time to throw it out. Be open to doing this. I’ll say, for me, it was really liberating.

I had some things planned and when we had a meeting to say let’s throw it out, I felt better. Look to see if there is anything you can throw out to make things easier.

19.You are enough and don’t be afraid to ask

YES, you are, never forget it! I had to remind myself every day and I suggest you do the same. When it came to asking from others, I’d feel less than, and then had to release that to know I’m enough and asking is part of being in business.

20. You are not your work

You are you. Your work is your work. Your work is your creation. It’s not your worth. You matter.

10 Spiritual Lessons I’ve learned

1. Spirituality evolves

It’s easy to think it will stay the same. I thought that, too. This year was the year of evolving and letting go of haves, shoulds, and musts when it came to my spiritual practices.

2. Meditation works — every time

When I don’t meditate I’m not as happy, fun, or easy to be around. This is a non-negotiable for me. Even if it’s 5 min, I do it — no matter what.

3. It’s not your job to save anyone

I used to think it was my job to save others, and when I stepped back from saving and healing everyone, I felt better. We are all here to help ourselves, that’s part of the practice.

4. Stopping is not failure

I’m still learning this one. I never thought I could stop doing anything, but the truth is I can, and so can you. Stopping is not quitting unless it is for you.

5. When my buttons are pushed it’s a gift

It used to really get me in a tailspin. Now I get excited when my buttons are pushed because it’s an opportunity to release, grow, and transform. The best part is when those buttons are not pushed anymore I get to enjoy the flow again and appreciate it even more.

6. It’s a waste of time to prove yourself to anyone

This used to be my motivation and I got tired. It’s one thing to be confident and know what you can do, it’s another to think you need to prove something to someone. The only person you need to prove yourself to is you.

7. Passion can be there, even when you’re done

This goes in line with the disenchanted lesson. I found that I can be passionate, and at the same time, not into the art of it all.

8. Wanting is focusing on what you don’t have = lack

Read that again. This blew my mind when I learned this. We say we want which means we don’t have. So when we focus on being able to have what it is we “want” we open to manifest it.

9. We have the power to change our perspective anytime

This is a great reminder because it’s crazy out there, especially if you’re reading the news or letting your demons get to you. For me, I had to constantly stop to change my perspective so I didn’t get stuck down the rabbit hole.

10. When you think you’ve done the work, there may be more to do

I thought I did the work around being abandoned, but guess what? It came up again and again. This was the red flag that there was more to do, and it was time to do it in a new way, by loving and forgiving this part of myself.

10 Parenting lessons I’ve learned (and there a many many many more)

1. You will be a great mom and a shitty mom

My biggest lesson and hardest lesson. Yes I lost my shit, screamed, then felt guilty. I apologized. Part of this lesson is to know you’re not shitty when you own up it — you’re human.

2. Don’t argue with a toddler

It never works. Be with them, be patient, and see how you can help them — even when they are kicking you. 🙂

3. Children need love more than anything else

This saved me all year. When being kicked or hit or screamed at, I showed up as love. It was a game changer.

4. You are the example

Holy crap this is huge. Whatever I do he sees, forget about teaching letters or number or even colors, look at what you do. Remember actions speak louder than words.

5. Kids bring up your old stuff

Holy moly. Every month, year, and moment I’m reminded of my crap. The beauty in this is that I get to release it, forgive it, and make an empowering choice.

6. Don’t resist, be present

I had to put my work down to read a book and I’ll do it again and again. Remember, they need love, this is what it looks like.

7. Children are way smarter than we give them credit for

100% I feel the system is set up for us to not be thinkers, creators, or leaders. We can change the system with how we engage with our children.

8. It does take a village

Not having family around is hard as a parent. Having to let go of being in control of who is around my son was a big one. It took a bit of shifting and asking those around us for help.

9. Children are amazing manifestors

No matter what you think it’s true. I’ll say no to buying something and eventually he will get it from someone else, 90% of the time. Don’t underestimate this.

10. Classical music is my BFF

Driving with a crying toddler or child is not fun. When I started using classical music he stopped crying and then I could find some peace.

Lastly here are 5 things I learned about myself this year

1. Patience looks good on me

2. Loving myself is food for my soul

3. Forgiveness opens me up to love more

4. Keeping commitments to myself are non-negotiable

5. Slowing down to meet the world works wonders

Now I’d love to hear from you, Sweet Soul. Tell me one thing in the comments you’ve learned about yourself today, this week, month or even year. You can share in a comment below or email me info@hillaryrubin.com

Remember #8 from my parenting lessons, it takes a village? I’ve found this to be true in ALL aspects of life. Having a loving, supportive community can do wonders for our businesses, for our soul, and for our life. If you haven’t found your “home” yet, I invite you to join me and get some resources so you can lead, love and live your life more deliberately. 

 

Your Angel of Fire,

 

 

 

 

 

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