Getting Over Perfection & Why You Already Have It All

Happy New Year!

This year, like every other, we all seek to do our best everyday no matter what we are doing or creating in our lives.

No one woke up today saying, “I’m going to do my worst today”, or “I’m going to make this my worst year ever”, right?!?

But, what if we did wake up and say we were going to do our worst? What would happen?

Could we have doing our worst and not beat ourselves up about it?

You may be thinking WHY in the world would I want that?

If we can have our worst, then we can have our best. Click to tweet…  

Like you, I have goals, dreams, and a vision for what my life “should” look like. Should is a slippery slope because it’s steeped in perfection, which means we will never really have it…unless we redefine what perfect means for us.

For so many years, I was seeking outside of myself for the answers to creating my “best life”. It became something I was reaching for, something I was striving for, something that I did not believe I could really have.

I was focused on wanting which kept me from having. I was focused on what I didn’t have more than what I did have.

In my career, I told myself I would not make it until I had a million dollar business, which meant I wasn’t as good as those who I was comparing myself to.

I was stuck on perfect and convinced that I couldn’t have it.

In my marriage, I was struggling, thinking I was doing something wrong because I did not have a baby yet in my 30’s. I decided to start in my 40’s, which is more common today, but I began to feel guilty and put myself down for waiting. It was crazy making.

I was stuck on the past and not able to have what I created.

Basically, I was silently stressing myself out trying to look like I have it all, and would get stuck in comparing myself, thinking everyone else was in on some secret that I somehow missed.

Do you ever feel that way?

I know how easy it is to look at everyone else – your family, co-workers, mentors, or those you admire, thinking they have it all.

We watch their lives on social media, get their email newsletters, and secretly wish we had it all like they do, forgetting that they aren’t sharing with us the times that they get sick, get rejected, or fail.

We get stuck on what we don’t have and get in the way of creating because we are stuck on perfection. Click to tweet…

Then, when we do hear their stories of struggle, it’s so well put together that their struggles even sound “perfect”. This makes us even more frustrated, wondering why we don’t have it all like they do. The cycle goes on and on – going nowhere fast.

Comparison, anxiety, and even depression takes over. We talk ourselves into buying this or that to fix it, when all the time we are missing what’s right under our nose. I know this was a big wakeup call for me after I had my son at 42.

I had to pull back from how I was “doing” my life and be in it. I had to let the thoughts, feelings, and ideas be there and no longer rule me. In the past it was hard, it was time to release that, and now I had to be more present and focus on this child who needed me.

Then I woke up and had a huge revelation that I DID have it all. It wasn’t about perfect, it wasn’t about making more money, having more, or being more.

It, having it all, wasn’t out there coming to me from a mantra, prayer, or vision board. It was here, right under my nose, called my LIFE.

So, if you’re ready to stop the madness of looking outside yourself and are ready to see what’s right here in the present moment, let’s have some fun!

How would it feel if I told you, right now, that YOU DO HAVE IT ALL?

You probably would shake your head in disbelief and tell me some story of how you don’t, just like the story I was telling myself. I know when I heard this concept I was a bit skeptical. So hang with me. It’s easier than you think.  

You know what you desire to have, right?

You know what you don’t want to have, right?

The BIG secret is… We all have it all. Every person on this planet, no matter your current circumstances. I’m here to shake you up a bit to see through a new lens, the “I have it all” lens.

Now that you know the big secret, the question is… can you let yourself have it all?

I’m talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Can you have everything that is happening currently in your life, career, relationships, family, or in the world?

That includes all the hardships, unfairness, hate, sketchy politics, sickness, etc.

We are all trained for things in life to be hard. Let yourself have that and open to having it be easy.

I’m inviting you to see this in a new way to reframe what it means to have it all.

What I did that helped me was to see it visually. Perhaps this will work for you so you can see it in front of you. When you can have it all, you are no longer in resistance of it.

You become neutral to it.

It’s a new way to be and live. Once you start, it becomes easier to see the world through this lens. You may find it easier to have things that bother you and have more of what you’d like to have.

Here’s a ‘Having It All Practice’ I did that helped me to see it and own it…  

Write out your Having It All List. Include everything like I mentioned above, the good, the bad, and the ugly. This includes the money in the bank, the bills piled up, the arguments, the love notes, etc…

Now go back and circle the things you have that you’d like to have more of.

Then, write your “I’m Ready to Have More of This List”. Read this every day and start working the muscle to focus on what you have and expand having more of it.

Now you are in on the secret of having it all. You are ready to have more of what you would like to have. Remember to be easy on yourself. It’s called a ‘practice’ for a reason.

Come on over to The Art of Coaching Facebook group and share the #1 thing you are ready to have in your life.  

I can’t wait to hear about it and celebrate you as you make it happen!

I’ll see you over there…


Your Angel of Fire,




P.S. Is 2017 the year you can have being a coach?

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