You may be feeling a little disconnected or unsure with the New Year coming in less than a week.
So, I’m curious to know do you ever feel like you’re not quite yourself? Something is just off?
What used to excite you doesn’t anymore?
The agreements you made with yourself and others have expired, yet you act as though they’re still up-to-date?
It’s as if the YOU that YOU identify with has gone on hiatus (I so get this), and someone else has showed up to live your life.
How I Spotted My Disconnect:
Ask anyone who knows me, and they’ll say “Hillary loves to be in the mix of what is going on.” I love to be with people, meet new friends, and connect on a soul level.
I feel alive at events, parties, and gatherings with my clients. You send me an invite, I’ll be there with bells on.
But at the beginning of this year, I wasn’t feeling like myself. I would be invited somewhere, and I’d just want to stay at home. I was in a deep creative mode, working on my first big launch for my YSU program. For whatever reason, I just couldn’t bear to be around anyone.
Sitting down to meditate was like being on a rowboat in the middle of a hurricane. I just didn’t recognize this feeling or behavior. It was so completely foreign to me, yet it was the life I was living.
I thought it would pass, then a week went by, and months went by. I even spoke to a psychic, and she told me I was in a hermit mode.
I tried to change it. I would go out, but any enjoyment or relaxation would be stifled by that persistent inner ache. Instead of connecting with the people around me, I’d be thinking about all the work I could be getting done if I wasn’t at a social gathering.
Just the thought of going out and being social made my stomach quake. It felt like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. I know anxiety – this was not it.
On one hand, it was totally unlike me to be a hermit. On the other, diving headfirst into my work was definitely a habit. I was uncomfortable.(sign of growth) I did not recognize myself.
I was raw, uncensored, and being with one other person was a much as I could take.
At my lowest moments, I felt like I wanted to rip my skin off just to be free from this prison of my body. I was fighting with an outdated contract of how I was supposed to be in this world.
While I was safe in my home creating and energetically being, anywhere else was way too daunting. All the tools I knew as a coach, healer and from my spiritual practices wouldn’t make it go away. I had to ride the wave and give myself permission to be with this frustration.
I had to piece together what was trying to emerge from me at that moment. It was only a matter of time until I would have to surrender to what was happening.
A new contract needed to be birthed. And I was ready for it.
Lesson Learned: to give myself permission to ease into the next phase of my evolution. To let go of who I thought I was supposed to be, and embrace who I was/am becoming.
Embrace who you are becoming. click to tweet…
Now, let’s shine the light on you.
Inquiry + Action time
Where Do You Need Liberation Quiz:
1. Exactly where in your life right now are you are not feeling like yourself? How is this identity not aligned with who you are today?
Is there an outdated belief system or agreement you’re clinging to? What is it?
2. Ask yourself: what is trying to emerge from you right now? LISTEN.
3. What do you feel the lesson is, or what are you learning through this process about yourself? (hint: where is the pattern that keeps showing up that’s related to this?)
You don’t have to do this all by yourself. Let’s do this together…
Share your answers to these questions in the comments below.
What self-made contract or agreement do you need to ditch completely?
What do you feel is the lesson you are in the process of learning?
I’m dying to hear what comes up for you in your process of awakening to your true self.
Have an amazing new year + can’t wait to share with you all that is unfolding.
Your Angel of fire,