Episode #22: How to Stop Feeling Like a Fraud or Imposter




Why do so many (of us) smart, high-achieving women fear we are frauds? The truth is, it’s not just women who feel this way, men feel this way, too.

This seems to be the million dollar question these days, and I’m going to do my best to help you navigate these choppy waters to find some ease and resolve. (It’s going to be easier than you think.)

If you feel this way right now or have ever felt this way, you must know it’s not your fault. You’re human, and some of the smartest people I know have felt this way, and still have moments when they feel the swell of doubt.

DOUBT is at the core of feeling like an IMPOSTER or FRAUD.

When I was asked to be a business coach and felt like an imposter…

Years ago, I was coaching and I had a lot of people who wanted me to coach them around business. I asked the question, “Who am I to teach anyone about business?” I also wanted to focus on my “niche” and let other coaches who did this well do it.

So, I passed on working with these clients. Then a friend of mine said, “You are great at business and this is part of your life. You love it and you can totally help them.” On one hand, I wanted to stay focused on my niche. And on the other, I was like, can I really help them?

What helped me was to look at my strengths. What I did well in my life and what I could teach. Basically, just do me. After about a year, I realized my work is to do the inner game before the outer game. Without the inner work, the outer is just paint.

So, I worked on my inner game with a coach for 8 months – it changed my life inside and out. This showed me what is important to being a success – the inner game.  It is validating and aligns with what I believe today to be the core of my work.

  1. Be proud of who you are. Daily, take the time to tell yourself in the mirror how proud you are of the person you are right now.
  2. Know your strengths, where you shine, and what you love to do. Daily, be cool with what is not your thing and what you don’t like to do. Check in to see what your strengths are and release having to do everything perfectly.
  3. Give yourself permission to be where you are. Be curious like a beginner, know what you know and be able to say, I don’t know, I will look into this for you. Or refer to someone who does. (This is what shifted everything for me to release doubt and own my place in this world as a coach.)

Mentioned in this episode:
Overcome Limiting Beliefs
The Art of Business for Coaches Episode #19: How to Get Back in the Game When You’ve Detoured
The Art of Business for Coaches Episode #3: Time to Get Down and Dirty for Some R&D
The Art of Business for Coaches Episode #16: What are You Responsible for as a Coach?
Strengths Finder Test
Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton
The Art of Becoming A Coach Training Program
Clarity Session
Business Brilliance Sessions
Praise for Hillary Rubin

I’d love to know what you got out of this episode! Please leave a comment or review on iTunes.

Send me a question and share your heart over at info@hillaryrubin.com.

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