The Top 5 ½ Self Sabotage Thoughts (and How to stop them)

We all have moments in our life when we feelScreen shot 2013-02-19 at 11.36.43 AM
low, hit a bump or are just not as confident as
we’d like to be and it holds us back.

It can even be paralyzing….

We are all works in progress. We don’t ever
have to settle or even believe any of these
sabotaging thoughts.

Most important, is to know it’s not your fault.

Your Self Sabotage Intervention Kit

1. I wish my body was different.

We all have had this thought.  No matter how big or small we are we wish we had different body. It’s crazy to think that when we weight X we will be good enough. This is not true and will only create more pain and suffering. We have the idea of beauty all mixed up and are almost addicted to picking away at ourselves.

We are surrounded by images all around in the media that push us to believe there is something wrong with our bodies. HEADS UP: those images have been retouched, played with.

We must change any distorted ideas about what self confidence is based upon.

When this happens we start teaching other women to do the same.

2. What’s wrong with me?

When we set on a path that is true to our hearts or what looks like is out-of-the-box we must keep our dreams/ideas close to our hearts. Or this thought runs rampant. This goes for lifestyle, health, relationships or career choices. When we share an idea with those we love they may not able to see another way other than their paradigm then we DOUBT ourselves and put the brakes on what we were excited about.

We all get vulnerable especially when we choose to live a life that is not the norm. Subconsciously we may be looking to be right about something being wrong about us and want proof.

We must stand on solid ground and be strong when others don’t agree.  

Always consider the source of where the feedback is coming from.

3. I’m a failure.

“Believing in yourself is an art you want to master.” Click to tweet…  

Talk about stopping life force, the universe or creativity this is the fastest way to do it. We all have what seems to be “failures” in life and get hit hard. This does not mean we are a failure.

We all have to grow and learn and as adults define this as failing. This is actually feedback to shift direction. We need to learn to allow ourselves the space to rebuild, restore and renew.

This is not a cookie cutter plan. There is so much to learn in this lifetime and you will always have room to grow.

We have to remember if we did it before we can do it again.

How’s that for turning it on it’s head?

4. Why can’t I get my life (or fill in the blank) right?

Secretly we are all sooo hard on ourselves. We our champions at pointing out what we did wrong and have a tough time pulling ourselves out of it. What if it was ok to feel like crap, not clean your dishes or not know your life purpose? Or if there were no “right” or “wrong”?

This one thought brings up our mother’s, father’s, or even our teacher’s voices guised as ours and hold us from ever feeling like it’s Ok to be human. The antidote for this is to move it aside and set up new standards for yourself.

It’s OK… You can stop making yourself feel bad.

Give yourself some slack, love and have more fun.

5. If only I_________________  (fill in the blank) my life would have been better.

We all do our best to not have any regrets because they suck! We all make the best choices we can at the time we make them. What is the pain here is we get stuck in our heads comparing our past to where we are now. This is a self-made prison because you cannot go back and change it.

When life gets hard, we think we made bad choices and then back ourselves into a corner and say things like I was so stupid that I did not… I should have… If only…

Let’s save time, heart-ache and let’s give up our regrets for FREEDOM.  

Then we can enjoy what is right in front of us.

5 ½.  I don’t know enough, I’m not ready…

We all come up against this one and it holds us back from taking big leaps in our life. It keeps us from taking risks and believing in ourselves. If we don’t believe in ourselves then how is anyone else going to?  We are dealing with an epidemic of the mind – PERFECTIONISM.

Einstein got it, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has not tried something new.”

How are you feeling now? Better? Hope so..

Did I miss out any other “important” crappy thoughts?  Be kind… NO, really there are billions of iterations of these lies in our heads and it’s time we change the story.

Let me know in the comments below what you are going to do about it.

Your Angel of Fire,
Logo - Hillary

 

 

P.S.  Would you mind helping me make my goal to share this with 100 women around the world on Facebook? All you have to do is share it with 3 women you know.

Thanks in advance for taking a few minutes to lift up the women in your life.

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Comments

  1. Oh this is right on target (per usual). I’ve especially been struggking with the last one as I’ve gotten clearer on what I want. Slowly but surely thoug, I’m spreading my wings!

  2. Thank you, I needed to hear this! I feel like im on the brink of something, i just dont know what it is….have a great 2 weeks.

  3. Great to hear Mariana! What is the brink, I’d love to know. Thanks for the sweet wishes. xo Hillary

    • Hi Hillary, I want to start an outdoor k-8 school, it’s been floating in my head, but many of the sabotaging thoughts pop up constantly, so I put it on the back burner….

  4. Hillary, were you lurking in my subconscious when you wrote this? I forbid you from creeping around in there while I’m not paying attention:)

    In all seriousness, you have touched so many of my pain points and I will gladly share this with every woman I know!

  5. Hillary – I love how you set this post up! Soooo goood! So much to take from this and you sent me to some posts I’d missed! Thank you for your generosity and overal fierce-ness. Got so much out of this.
    xoAnne

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