Why wanting doesn’t work when it comes to manifesting anything (and what to do instead)

3.12.16.blogI woke up this morning with a big smile on my face because I made a big shift in my process of manifesting. I reminded myself I deserve to have what I’m creating. Today’s a special day for me because it’s the second day of my LIVE 2-day retreat, The Art of Business Coaches, in LA.

It’s been something I’ve been ready to create for a while and had to put it on hold.  

Before having my son, Odin, my business was growing and I was on a roll. I was taking risks and enjoying the adventure of having my own coaching business, training and coaching coaches.

Back In 2014, Odin was born and I decided to put off having an event that year for obvious reasons.

So in 2015 I decided to offer a ticket to all those who went through TAOBC training program as a bonus, and I’ll be honest, to do this I had to make a shift in my consciousness.

For so many years I was stuck in wanting to do so many things in my business.

The energy felt more like pushing, forcing. It was hard instead of allowing, receiving and letting it be easy.

Allow, receive, and let it be easy. Click to tweet…

I was living in the land of WANTING instead of the land of HAVING.

Hang with me for a minute because this will make sense in a moment. I’d love to know do you ever find yourself saying I want….

I want that… I want to be…. I want this…

I want, I want, I want…

As a child I was taught to say “I would like” so I could have better manners when I was over at friends’ houses eating dinner or with family. Little did I know it wasn’t so much about manners and it was more about the energy.

Well I didn’t realize that until recently when one of my spiritual mentors brought to my attention how the energy of wanting and having are totally different.

It was subtle yet profound.

On one hand it was an essential reframe for creating and manifesting a life or business that is aligned with my soul. On the other, hand it was a huge Aha to seeing the energy of both of those words and what they create.

Test it out for yourself.

Do you have something you really really really want?

Say I want, whatever that is. Close your eyes and feel it.

Then open your eyes and say….

I have, whatever it is. Close your eyes and feel it.

Then feel the energy of WANTING it vs. HAVING it.

Can you feel the difference?

This is what really stood out for me and was a major AHA.

Wanting something puts the spotlight of you not having it. Meaning you lack it. It’s scarcity energy.

When we want things we push it away because we are not able to have it.

Having something puts the spotlight on it being there — you have it. Obvious and I’m sure you’re seeing it like I did. It’s abundant when you have it or allow yourself to have it.

When you can have something you are open to receiving it. You are not blocked or in resistance to it. If you believe you can have it then you’re more likely to manifest it because it’s in reach of your having it.

This does not mean you won’t have to go through your own growth, obstacles and lessons on the way. It means you can keep your energy open to having exactly what it is you desire to have or create. It may not look exactly how you envision it, but what does when it comes to anything we create.

What you can do to increase your ability to HAVE.

When you are set on something happening or something you’re creating, like I was with my event, check in to see how your energy is with it. Are you feeling like you’re chasing it because you want it so bad? OR do you see you’re able to have it, even with taking steps and doing the work.

Check in to see what your energy is around wanting it to happen vs. having it happen.

Can you let it be easy and fun? Or are you stuck in it having to be hard and tiring?

Do you feel it’s something you can have – it’s close to you?

Or do you feel it’s far away, wanting energy – it’s far from you?

What comes up for you? Is it doubt, fear, competition, effort, not being enough, not being deserving? Do you hear a voice of someone from your past saying you can’t have it?

Let it all be there and increase your energy around having whatever shows up so you are not in resistance to it. Let yourself have it. Let yourself not have it. Create neutrality.

You can write this out if you’re the journaling type, or talk it out if you’re the speaking type. Look at what you already have in your life, what comes easy without resistance so you can be aware of what comes to you easily and what doesn’t.

You can also use a Permission Statement to help you…

“I give myself permission to release energy around wanting what I’m creating in my life. I let myself have it because I deserve it. I am enough. It’s easy for me to expand my ability to have whatever it is I’m ready to have. And so it is…”

Say your Permission Statement every day outloud with enthusiasm while looking in the mirror. (Even if you feel awkward, it will work. I’ve had clients not into this at first who use it, and they were amazed at how it shifted them.)

Whatever it is, please validate yourself for doing a good job and know you can have whatever it is you’d like to have happen in your life or business – as long as you can start to believe it. Again there are steps for you to take, and know it will take the time it takes, so keep doing the soul work to show yourself you can have it.

Now your turn, Sweet Soul…

What stood out for you in this post? What was your biggest takeaway?

Are you ready to let yourself have what it is you’re creating in your life? Because you deserve it!

Share below what it is you’re ready to have happen in your life so we can celebrate with YOU.


Your Angel of Fire,







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