Why The Law of Attraction is the New Neurosis


Then read this post now + stop the madness…

I remember when the movie The Secret hit the masses, it was amazing. I actually held a private screening in a theater for about 90 people. We were told how powerful we were, how we can make life work for us and even get a parking spot if we focus hard enough on it. Hmmm.

Basically, this is a law of the universe called the Law of Attraction.

If you are like me and you just love to learn, grow, get healthy and want to be better as a human being then you probably doing your best to use this law.

But there’s one issue — we’re all human and will get in the way of the law or not.

I was talking with a client who really believed she was doing it wrong and making herself sick over it. She blamed herself, put herself down and made herself pay for doing it “wrong”. Do you feel this way when your life is not working? When you health seems to fail? When you are not getting what you want?


Just a few months ago I watched a trailer for a movie where Bob Proctor the grandfather of this work shared how he just had heart surgery? OMG! Is Bob Proctor doing the law of attraction wrong? Nope! Not one bit.

I got the chance to thank him and meet him at Cynthia Kersey’s Fundraiser B-day bash for the Unstoppable Foundation this past weekend. I shared with him how I felt it was amazing that he shared this openly.

He shared how he was criticized by many for sharing this information.  “I did not do it wrong, I had the best care in the best hospital in the world and learned so much from this happening — I did not do anything to deserve this it was part of my journey”  Ok, he did not say journey but I am paraphrasing a bit  here.

If you can’t do it wrong then what do you do?

If you feel like you’re doing it wrong or want to get more clear then follow these steps to change course:

1. Watch your thoughts + feelings but don’t become neurotic. If you feel you don’t want something or resisting it will come back so much harder. Release the need to get it right or beat yourself up for doing it “wrong’.

2. Notice what you ask for or say, like — I need a break. I’m a mess. I wish he was gone. I want to be alone. I hate this job. I think you got it by now… And when you do, just say CANCEL out loud. It is like the button on the ATM when you hit the wrong amount to withdraw and say it again the way you want to.

3. Take 10 steps back when you’re in an icky situation and see how it is actually giving you exactly what you want. And say out loud, “This is exactly what I wanted.” It may be hard to take this much responsibility but it shifts everything from it being done to you to your being part of this co-creation and then can enjoy the play of the universe.

4. To stop the neurosis, you must stop seeing yourself totally in control and let life flow. It is a co-participation. If every thought, feeling created every outcome then you would want to stop thinking, feeling and even going out of your house.

Becoming more aware and taking some time every day to put some good ju ju in your life will have a lasting affect on your well-being.

All you can do is become more aware and know you are doing the best you can. What really rocks is when something does not happen and then you are happy it didn’t.

Leave a comment below, share how you feel about the law of attraction that’s the best way to attract loving support in your life – at least it works for me. 😉

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  1. Hey Hillary,
    love what you’re doing. Please keep me in the loop for the Tribal group; my daughter was in a recording studio recording a song with the Agape Youth Choir and I was unable to attend your gathering.
    Peace, love and blessings,
    Wendy Silvers

  2. Hi Hillary! 🙂

    These are some great tips! I love how you’ve addressed this issue or fear of “doing it wrong”. It’s so easy to get hung up on whether or not we’re doing it right or wrong, and then miss out on what it’s really all about.

  3. Yes! I think this touches on the notion that I feel gets expressed often, that health is about perfection. Most of the time when we focus on perfection, we are really thinking negatively about where we are now! I always appreciate your stories and insights on health and wellness, Hillary. You offer so much about happiness and radiantly offering our gifts to the world.

  4. Ha ha, this was me for so long! I used to think I was doing it wrong too until I came to the same realizations. I bet there’s a lot of people who think that so great commentary!

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Glad you found your way out of that Angela. It’s a painful place to be for so many. thanks for commenting. 🙂

  5. Gabriela Neyland says:

    Hi Hillary,
    Thank you for your work. Thank you for sharing. The Law of Attraction is great topic. I believe that the law works. I catch myself sometimes with thinking if I am doing something wrong also. I think I just think too much:-) There is no right or wrong. You are right and you said it nice: we are doing the best we can.
    Love and peace,

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Gabriela you are so welcome! We can keep upgrading and stepping back to see the evidence is magical. xo

  6. Hillary, I love that you wrote about this topic because I think a lot of people have the feeling that they are doing something wrong with this whole Law of Attraction thing(ie: they haven’t attracted what they want into their lives). One of the best points I got from your message is this idea of co-creation with the universe. LOVE that! It makes this idea of manifesting or attracting much less about results and much more about the process. Thank you 🙂

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Thanks Britt! The process is the key not the outcome — so powerful. We are programmed to see the outcome as success or failure. You are sooo welcome.

  7. Hillary, this was absolutely what I needed to hear today. The co-creation with the Universe is the biggest take-away. We just can’t do it wrong! Great vid and message!

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Awe, Lisa! Happy to be there for you lady. When we get that we don’t do it wrong and then upgrade our beliefs amazing things happen. Thanks for the love. 🙂

  8. Hillary,

    Thanks for the reminder. It does work – sometimes I let the mind monsters in and try to control.

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      You are welcome Beth! Yes those mind monsters tell us we are unworthy and then we get caught in feeding them. See you this weekend. xo

  9. Chutney Berry says:

    Thank you Hillary for your reminders, I am so glad that you dug deeper than the surface of the “Law of Attraction”. Wanting what I don’t have and having what I don’t want has always caused me pain. Until I realized that I am not the only Law happening… ha ha… Its a good conversation, and powerful awareness. Keep up the good work, you have us all questioning…. inquiring….
    Big hugs

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Chutney so happy to connect with you. Interesting you went through your own road with this and found that there is more. Keep loving as you do love xo

  10. I am SO glad you posted this! Thank you, Hillary! I have a friend who is absolutely crazy over this. It’s coming to the point where she’s blaming negative things on the thoughts of others. I shared with her a very sad story about a woman I knew who died of cancer at a young age leaving behind 2 young children. Her response was “Her thoughts were probably negative.” She went on to say (with all certainty!) that this woman (whom she never met) “didn’t know what we know. She didn’t know that she could have healed herself. She didn’t think the right thoughts.” I am not one to lose it on a person but I was really close! I see how her obsession with the “right” thoughts has made her insensitive to others, unrealistic about life and unable to stomach the negative experiences and emotions that do arise in life. The Law of Attraction does make for a better life if we relax about it but it does not make us invincible!

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      YOU are so welcome N. It is never a good idea to blame anything on others. And one’s thoughts don’t control everything it is one ingredient in consciousness. It is a tough place and keep being open and compassionate to your friend. 🙂

      • Interesting isn’t it that we can become so neurotic about being positive (thinking “right”) that the thoughts and emotions can shift to negativity and the person is completely in the dark. I think this is the rigidity in play – sort of like muscle energy employed out of order (or as a priority). When you do not open to grace first and foremost, living your life with this attitude of coparticipation it leads to fear and confusion.

        • Hillary Rubin says:

          Love your comment and a great dialogue for sure. Too much of anything can lead you to the other side. Thanks Tia!

  11. I personally don’t believe in the law of attraction…how can I say this like I feel it? I believe that we attract certain peeps and situations to us, but I guess I’ve never really TRIED to attract for the sake of attracting a specific thing. Does that make sense?

    I always get a great parking spot! ALWAYS. It’s weird.

    I definitely go with the flow and learn from my experiences, the good or not-so-great ones.

    I think if there was a law that felt right for me it would be named something like “The Law of Melody…go after you want and don’t stop looking for it, because it’s there. It may show up disguised as something else or it may actually be the total opposite of what you were expecting!”

  12. You can never get it wrong. And you’ll never get it done.

    Love the truth you speak here.


    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Thanks Alison, it is really important that we get this and are able to have fun in life — if not then what’s the point right?

  13. Hello Hyllary,

    I was doing wrong this law before I had have meet your quick 3 steps but fortunatly after I did the 3 quick steps I am doing a efort to doing right this law. Thanks again + again + again for you exist in my way!

    Love you.

  14. Frances Swan says:

    Hi .. very important to remember that you’re not ‘doing it wrong’.
    Thanks for the work you are doing!

  15. Hi Hillary!

    Favorite tip: Say CANCEL out loud.

    I’m serious…this is action to me and helps on so many levels to get rid of self-limiting thoughts.

    I go back and forth about the Law of Attraction, because I never sit back and let things happen, but I do like the way you talk about co-creation with the universe. That says to me that you must take action too.

    Love it all and thanks for sharing.


    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Hey Anne! Yes CANCEL is my best friend. Passionate action is the best so you can dance with the universe and have fun doing it. Love to you too! xo

  16. Hillary love, this is a fabulous article and definitely points to the need for all us to be incredibly mindful about what we say – especially what we say to ourselves about ourselves! Anything on the inside has its way of seeping out to the external and impacts the experience people have of us. As women entrepreneurs wanting to make a difference and create a positive impact, we have to cut ourselves some slack and stay focused on the good that we are and that is. Beautiful reminder Hillary!!

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Love seeing you here Tracey. You are so welcome lady it is impt to give us ourselves slack and keep the focus on what is happening. 🙂

  17. I love this – I love when you say “…you must stop seeing yourself totally in control and let life flow. It is a co-participation…” I was just talking with a client yesterday about this so this is so timely…. It is my belief that there’s a lot of karmic consideration AND I also believe and experience that energy follows thought so we must be mindful of where and what our thoughts are. Key is being mindful… concious, aware, awake without judgment and analysis….. And a willingness to “let life flow” as you say…. It is indeed a co-participation process — not even necessarily a co-creation process….. It’s a flow and if we go with it and experience it fully with open eyes, open heart and intention without attachment to outcome… well, peace is ours no matter what…. Namaste, Lynn

    • Hillary Rubin says:

      You got the one important point — not being attached to the outcome. more to come on that one in my next blog. Thanks!

  18. Robin Holland says:

    I really like the way you gave these steps. This explanation is really liberating. Thanks!

  19. Hillary,
    This is such an important perspective to share. Believing too rigidly in one line of thinking generally leads people to limited thinking, which often results in poor decision making and assuming that people who don’t ascribe to one’s dogma are wrong or misinformed.

    Thanks for your clearer, broader perspective on the Law of Attraction, Hillary!


    • Hillary Rubin says:

      Lisa — I appreciate your comment love and yes we all need to get out of the box and see how we co-create in this life. 🙂

  20. Hillary! I loved this posting the information is so right on thank you for sharing! Absolutely loving your website!! xox

  21. adele lombard says:

    Hi there Hillary,

    Wow, you always inspire me so much. Just wat the doctor ordered. I often spin around and don’t take a step back to breathe and let go.

    Thank you sharing these great truths with us xxx

  22. Nice article! Hilarious to see the little title above this comment box though: ‘Speak Your Mind’ (!) Your mind is the one thing that keeps tripping you up 🙂 I’m sure everybody is familiar with the experience of feeling just great, often ‘for no reason’ and then the mind steps in after which you’re soon be filled with worries and fear… Our society is based on (our) worries and fears and we become programmed at a very early age to think in that same fashion (don’t do this, watch out for that, be on guard for this and for that, etc.). Feeling good/happy and thinking don’t mix so well 🙂 When you really see the truth of that last statement, you’ll start to give less and less attention to your thoughts and you’ll start to feel good for no reason more and more often until it hopefully becomes a new habit. Cheers!


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